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When the Die Hard movies run on TV, they are usually edited to remove language and excess violence. Here are a list of changes made to the theatrical release.

Die Hard[]

  • John saying "Jesus. Fuckin' California!" after being kissed is edited out.
  • John's line, "Son of a bitch..." is cut out.
  • John's line, "Shit!" is cut out.
  • The shot of Takagi's blood splattering the glass is cut out.
  • John: Why didn't you stop him, John?! (instead of "why the fuck didn't you stop him, John?!"
  • John: Because you'd be dead, too! (instead of "because you'd be dead too, asshole!")
  • John: Think...think! (instead of "think, god damn it, think!")
  • John: I'll kiss your dalmatian! (instead of "your fucking dalmatian")
  • John: Oh, you stupid–NO! NO! (instead of "you stupid motherfuckers! NO! NO!")
  • John's line, "Turn the fucking truck around!" is cut out.
  • John: Drop it. (instead of "Drop it, dickhead.")
  • John's line, "Fuck! FUCK!" is edited out.
  • Theo: You bet I wish to proceed. (instead of "you bet your ass I wish to proceed")
  • Ellis's line, "Aw, Christ. He could fuck this whole thing up," is cut out.
  • Ellis: His job's 3000 miles away. (instead of "Bullshit. His job's 3000 miles away.")
  • John: Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?! (instead of "No fucking shit, lady, do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?!"
  • John: Fine, come and arrest me! (instead of "Fine, report me, come the fuck down here and arrest me!")
  • John's line, "Shit, where the fuck is it?" is edited out.
  • John's line, "Oh, fuck," is edited out.
  • John's line, "I'll put this fuckin..." is edited out.
  • John: FREEZE! DROP IT! (instead of "FREEZE, MOTHERFUCKER! DROP IT!")
  • John's line, "Put that fucking gun down now!" is cut out.
  • John's line, "Drop the fucking gun!" is cut out.
  • Powell's line, "SHIT! GOD DAMN IT! JESUS H. CHRIST!" is cut out.
  • Several uses of "God damn it!" by Powell in the same scene are cut out.
  • John: Yippee-ki-yay! (instead of "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!")
  • John's line, "Add all that up, I don't know what the fuck it means, but you got some badass perpetrators, and they're here to stay" is cut out.
  • Robinson: He could be a bartender for all we know! (instead of "Jesus Christ, Powell! He could be a fucking bartender for all we know!")
  • Robinson: It's probably the same silly son you've been talking to on that radio. (instead of "son of a bitch")
  • John's line, "You macho assholes, no! NO!" is cut out.
  • Theo: "...the four coming in the rear..." (instead of "the four assholes coming in the rear")
  • John: Geronimo. (instead of "Geronimo, motherfucker!")
  • The following exchange is cut out:
    • John: Is the building on fire?
    • Powell: No, but it's gonna need a paintjob and a shitload of screen doors.
  • The scene in which John and Robinson argue over the radio is cut out.
  • Ellis's line, "The guy upstairs fucking things up, huh?" is cut out.
  • John: And you're neither. (instead of "and you're neither, shithead")
  • John: Hans, Ellis doesn't know what kind of man you are. (instead of "this shithead")
  • John's line, "What the fuck?" is cut out.
  • John's line, "What the fuck are you doing up here?" is cut out.
  • The following exchange is cut out:
    • John: Think I'm fucking stupid, Hans?
    • Hans: You were saying?
  • John's line, "Jesus Christ!" is cut out.
  • Theo's line, "and the electromagnetic came down like a fucking anvil" is cut out.
  • John's line, "Motherfucker!" is cut out.
  • John: I'm gonna kill you, I'm gonna cook you, and I'm gonna eat you! (instead of "I'm gonna kill you, I'm gonna fucking cook you, and I'm gonna fucking eat you!")
  • John: I'M ON YOUR SIDE! (instead of "I'M ON YOUR SIDE, YOU ASSHOLES!")
  • Agent Johnson's line, "Shit! Swing around again! I'll nag this little bastard," is cut out.
  • John's line, "Oh, John, what the fuck are you doing? How the fuck did you get into this shit?" is cut out.
  • Hans: Yippee-ki-yay. (instead of "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker")

Die Hard 2[]

  • John's line, "Son of a bitch," is cut out.
  • The shots of Stuart's buttocks are cut out.
  • Lady: I zap any--that--with me. ("bastard" and "screws" are muted)
  • The shot of the church watchman getting killed is cut short.
  • Vito's line, "Fucking tourists. Ought to be a law," is cut out.
  • Stuart: You can have two: joke and you. (instead of "fuck")
  • Garber: No pictures, you pinko witch. (instead of "pinko bitch")
  • John's line, "Jesus H.--FUCK!" is edited out.
  • John's line, "Christ..." is edited out.
  • John's line, "Fucker!" is cut out.
  • John: Nice guess, officer. (instead of "asshole")
  • John's line, "Jesus!" is edited out.
  • John's line, "Aw, Christ!" is edited out.
  • John: What the hell are you people-- (instead of "fuck")
  • John: You gotta seal this area off! (instead of "You gotta seal this area off, for Christ's sake!")
  • Carmine: You're the animal who just broke seven FAA... (instead of "asshole")
  • Carmine: What do you call that junk? (instead of "shit")
  • John's line, "Ok, fuck courtesy," is cut out.
  • Carmine: ...to the boy scouts traipsing through here! (instead of "to the god damn boy scouts traipsing through here!")
  • Carmine: I got a freaking reindeer flying in here from the freaking petting zoo! (instead of "fucking")
  • Carmine: Hell, let's shut down the whole freaking airport! (instead of "fucking")
  • Carmine: Because I don't need full freaking forensics... (instead of "fucking")
  • Carmine: Just cause the TV thinks you're hot stuff... (instead of "shit")
  • Carmine: I'll send your freaking captain in LA a freaking commendation! (instead of "fucking")
  • Carmine: ...before I have you thrown out of my airport! (instead of "my god damn airport")
  • John: The lead in your hat or the junk in your brains? (instead of "ass" and "shit")
  • John: Fat freak. (instead of "fuck")
  • John: Pretty gruesome job. (instead of "pretty gruesome fucking job")
  • John's line, "Christ," is cut out.
  • Powell: You're not in somebody's pool, are you? (instead of "not pissing in somebody's pool")
  • Carmine: They got it right on the news. (instead of "the fucking news")
  • John: Somebody's about to seriously fool with this airport. (instead of "fuck")
  • John: What do you think this is? (instead of "What the fuck")
  • Carmine: You're the one who gave us that freaking body. (instead of "fucking")
  • Trudeau: You can't do this! (instead of "Dammit, you can't do this!")
  • John: ...that has no extradition treaties. (instead of "that has no extradition treaties, we're fucked.")
  • Carmine: They're talking us out of our own system. (instead of "our own god damn system")
  • John: Hey, forget Monday morning! (instead of "fuck")
  • John: My wife's on one of those planes these guys are fooling with! ("god damn" is cut out, and "fucking" is replaced with "fooling")
  • John: If you had moved your fat feet when I told you to, we wouldn't be hip-deep in snow right now! (instead of "ass" and "shit")
  • John's line, "Get your fucking hands off me," is cut out.
  • Carmine's line, "We're working here, for shit's sake!" is cut out.
  • Carmine: Two unauthorized personnel in the front tower. (instead of "fucking")
  • Carmine: Would you get them out of the elevator, or you're gonna find a pink slip in your Christmas stocking! ("get your thumb out of your ass" and "god damn" are cut out of the line)
  • Samantha: Can't fool with what guy? (instead of "fuck")
  • John: Joke off. (instead of "fuck")
    • The "joke" in this line is actually audio of Colonel Stuart saying "joke" earlier in the film.
  • John: Man, I can't believe this. (instead of "man, I can't fucking believe this")
  • John: How can the same stuff happen to the same guy twice? (instead of "shit")
  • John: Christmas tree... (instead of "fucking Christmas tree...")
  • John: I gotta crawl around this tin can! (instead of "this motherfucking tin can")
  • SWAT Leader's line, "Hey, asshole!" is cut out.
  • The shot of the SWAT leader getting shot in the head is shortened.
  • Several bloody shots of the SWAT team gun fight scene are cut out.
  • John's line, "Shit!" is edited out.
  • A terrorist's line, "Fuck!" is cut out.
  • John's lines, "Motherfucker!" and "Fucking son of a bitch!" are cut out.
  • A terrorist's line, "I'm gonna kick your fucking ass" is cut out.
  • John's line, "God damn" and "Jerk us off" are cut out.
  • John: I want to hear what these--saying. ("bastard" is edited out)
  • John's line, "Hey, Colonel, blow me," is cut out.
  • A worker's line, "Oh, Jesus," is cut out.
  • John: He's gonna crash the plane! (instead of "Jesus Christ, he's gonna crash the fucking plane!")
  • Trudeau's line, "Son of a bitch" is cut out.
  • The pilot's line, "Jesus!" is cut out.
  • John's line, "Motherfucker", is edited out.
  • John: I was pretty useless. (instead of "pretty god damn useless")
  • Dick's friend: I wouldn't let those animals check them in. (instead of "assholes")
  • John: One platoon?! (instead of "One fucking platoon?!")
  • Grant's line, "You showed a pretty big set of balls out there," is cut out.
  • John: Make up your mind! (instead of "make up your fucking mind!")
  • John: Oh, we are just up to our neck in terrorists again, John. (instead of "ass")
  • John: That's right, we'll have you in five minutes. (instead of "that's right, asshole")
  • John's line, "And now that I got your sorry ass, I'm gonna trade it for my wife!" is cut short.
  • John's line, "Oh, shit!" is edited out.
  • Garber: You lucky fool. (instead of fuck)
  • John's line, "Where's the fucking door?" is cut out.
  • John: Well, at least I'm thinking! (instead of "thinking, god damn it!")
  • Grant: Listen, you wise guy. We're here to service that hijacker till he tries to take off. (instead of "ass", "jerk off", and "cocksucker")
  • Lady: Somebody ought to get reprimanded for this mess. (instead of "their ass kicked")
  • John: We've looked at 12 houses and we're nowhere. (instead of "12 fucking houses")
  • John's line, "Who gives a fuck?" is cut out.
  • Carmine's line, "You're where?! God damn it!" is cut out.
  • John's line, "Shit!" is edited out.
  • The shots of Baker's bloody eye when he gets stabbed are cut out.
  • Grant: Lorenzo, shut your trap up. (instead of "shut the fuck up")
  • John's line, "You're not such an asshole after all," is cut out.
  • Grant's line, "No, you were right. I'm just your kind of asshole," is cut out.
  • John's line, "Oh, Jesus Christ," is cut out.
  • Grant's line, "Do you believe the balls on this son of a bitch?" is cut out.
  • Grant's line, "Check out your own fucking plane," is cut out.
  • The shot of Telford's throat being slit is cut out.
  • Carmine: McClane, are you out of your freaking mind?! (instead of "fucking")
  • John: They're gonna get on the same plane with him and take off with him! (instead of "same god damn plane")
  • Carmine: Get the hell out of here! (instead of "fuck")
  • John: Sideshow to buy them some time! (instead of "sideshow to jerk us off, buy 'em some time!")
  • Carmine: You are completely around the bends! (instead of "the fucking bends")
  • Carmine: You're under arrest! (instead of "you're under arrest, you motherfucker!")
  • Carmine's line, "Jesus Christ," is cut out.
  • Carmine: It's time to kick heads. (instead of "ass")
  • Trudeau's line, "That stupid, arrogant son of a bitch" is cut out.
  • Carmine's line, "Shit! God damn it to hell, fuck!" is cut out.
  • Carmine: Will you move that no-good piece of junk out of here?! (instead of "god damn" and "shit")
  • Carmine: Get the hell out of the car! (instead of "fuck")
  • John: They left the hangar! (instead of "Shit, they left the hanger!")
  • John's line, "God damn it", is edited out.
  • John: Take it down! (instead of "take it fucking down!")
  • John: What are you doing on the wing of this plane? (instead of "what the fuck")
  • Esperanza's lines, "Mierda" and "Hijo de puta", both Spanish obscenities, are edited out.
  • Stuart's line, "Son of a bitch!" is cut out.
  • The shot of Grant's blood hitting the plane is cut out.
  • John's line, "This is for Flight 114, motherfucker!" is edited out.
  • John: Yippee-ki-yay, Mister Falcon! (instead of "yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker")
  • The lady's line, "Asshole!" is edited out.

Die Hard with a Vengeance[]

  • John: Ten blocks? You kidding me? (instead of "You fucking kidding me?")
  • John: This Simon is messing up a perfectly good hangover. (instead of "fucking")
  • The sign that reads "I Hate Niggers" is digitally changed to "I Hate Everyone".
  • Zeus's line, "Not to get too personal, but a white man in Harlem wearing a sign that says, 'I hate niggers' has either got serious personal issues, or not all his dogs are barking," is cut out.
  • Gang Member: What the hell is that?! (instead of "What the fuck?!")
  • Zeus's line, "Oh, shit!" is edited out.
  • Gang Member: Shut your face! (instead of "shut the fuck up")
  • The line, "Fellas! Nature boy here hates niggers. Now, what are we gonna do about that?" is cut out.
  • Zeus: Back the hell up! (instead of "fuck")
  • Zeus: Stop the damn cab! (instead of "god damn")
  • John: Get the hell out of here! (instead of "fuck")
  • Zeus: Put that filthy money away! (instead of "fucking")
  • Zeus's line, "Oh, fuck," is edited out.
  • John: Ah, dammit. (instead of "god damn it")
  • Zeus: Don't fool with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your butt-Zeus! (instead of "fuck" and "ass")
  • John:...where you tell me what the hell this has to do with me. (instead of "fuck")
  • John: He's a flunky, not a psycho. (instead of "fuck-up")
  • Zeus: You can stick your well-laid plan up your well-laid tail. (instead of "ass")
  • John: I understand that you're a freaky wacko... (instead of "fucking")
  • John: Forget the man! (instead of "fuck")
  • Taxi driver: What the hell are you doing? (instead of "fuck")
  • John: It's gotta be a record! (instead of "a fucking record")
  • John's line, "God damn!" is cut out.
  • John's line, "Fuck this!" is cut out.
  • Zeus: Get away from the phone! (instead of "the god damn phone!")
  • Lady: You are so full of stories, Walsh! (instead of "shit")
  • John: Very funny. (instead of "fuck you")
  • The scene where Katya kills the security guard with a large knife is shortened.
  • Zeus' line, "Shit! SHIT!" is edited out.
  • Kid: Let me go, skinhead! (instead of "dickhead")
  • The scene where John kills the terrorists in the elevator is shortened.
  • John: Put your hands up now! (instead of "Put your fucking hands up now!")
  • John: Jeez, Zeus. (instead of "Jesus Christ")
  • John: Simon says! (instead of "Simon fucking says!")
  • Zeus: Oh, snap! (instead of "shit")
  • Zeus: Slow down, shoot! (instead of "shit")
  • John: Put that gold down! (instead of "shit")
  • Zeus: No way! (instead of "no fucking way")
  • Zeus's line, "Only problem is, takes too fuckin' long!" is cut out.
  • The following exchange is cut out:
    • John: Oh, shit!
    • Zeus: What?
  • John's line, "Oh, Jesus Christ," is cut out.
  • Man: Go take a hike! (instead of "go fuck yourself")
  • Construction worker: I'm gonna write those clowns up! (instead of "those fucking clowns")
  • The shot of John killing two of the terrorists is cut out.
  • John: Nils is dead, bonehead! (instead of "fuckhead")
  • John's line, "Holy shit!" is edited out.
  • The following exchange is cut out:
    • Zeus: Aw, what the fuck happened?
    • John: You got a triple-A card?
  • Zeus: ...you racist melon farmer. (instead of "motherfucker")
  • Zeus: Don't even move. (instead of "fucking")
  • Many of the shots of John beating Targo with the chain is cut out.
  • John's line, "Fuck!" is edited out.
  • Connie: No! (instead of "shit")
  • John: There's a big black and white boat in the middle of the harbor. (instead of "fucking boat")
  • Zeus: No riddle's gonna diffuse this thing?! (instead of "stop this motherfucker")
  • John's line, "Don't drop this motherfucker, alright?" is edited out.
  • Zeus: What the hell is "sorta separated"? (instead of "fuck")
  • Zeus: You blame that on your wife, do you, right? (instead of "that shit")
  • Zeus's line, "God damn it!" is edited out.
  • John: Damn! (instead of "Shit!")
  • John: I don't see it! (instead of "I don't fucking see it!")
  • Zeus: Why's it doing that?! (instead of "what the fuck is that?!")
  • Zeus: Get out of here! (instead of "get the fuck out of here")
  • John: I gotta do something! (instead of "I gotta fucking do something")
  • Zeus: Forget that, McClane. (instead of "fuck")
  • Holly's line, "God damn it, you son of a bitch," is cut out.
  • Zeus: Run, suckers! (instead of "motherfuckers")
  • The scene where John loads his gun before facing Simon is cut out.
  • John: Yippee-ki-yay, my friend. (instead of "yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker")

Live Free or Die Hard[]

  • Lucy: You are such an ass. (instead of "asshole")
  • Matt: Got a lot of -- for it... ("shit" is muted)
  • Matt's line, "Shit," is edited out.
  • Matt: Once you're on that damn list... (instead of "god damn")
  • Matt: I have lots of other cool -- in here ("shit" is muted)
  • Matt's line, "Shit," is edited out.
  • John: Let's go, damn it! (instead of "god damn")
  • Matt: I got a big problem with the news. (instead of "big god-damn problem")
  • John: I don't give a --. ("shit" is muted)
  • John: Cut the bull--, honey. ("shit" is muted)
  • John: It's Detective McClane, ass. (instead of "asshole")
  • Matt's line, "Shit" is cut out.
  • Matt: Start the -- damn car! ("God" is muted)
  • John: That's enough of this kung fu! (instead of "kung fu shit")
  • Matt's line, "Shit," is edited out.
  • Matt: We just got the -- kicked out of us! ("shit" is muted)
  • John's line "God damn it!" is cut out.
  • Gabriel's line, "Jesus Christ," is cut out.
  • Matt: OH! (instead of "OH SHIT!")
  • Gabriel's line, "God damn it," is cut out.
  • John's line, "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfu--[gunshot]" is shortened to "Yippee-ki-yay, mother--[gunshot]".

A Good Day to Die Hard[]

  • John's line, "GOD DAMN YOU! GOD DAMN IT!" is cut out.
  • John's line, "What the fuck do you think..." is edited out.
  • The civilian's line, "You're gonna fucking run over me?!" is edited out.
  • John: You gotta be kidding me! (instead of "you gotta be fucking kidding me!")
  • Alik: I've had enough of this. (instead of "this shit")
  • John: Jack, what was that, huh? (instead of "Jack, what the fuck was that?"
  • John's line, "Spy shit", is cut out.
  • John: I'm on Russian vacation! (instead of "fucking")
  • Jack: I'm so burned. (instead of "I'm so fucking burned")
  • Jack: I need that file to un-foul this mission. (instead of "fuck")
  • Jack: Like you'd give a damn. (instead of "shit")
  • John: What is it with all this "John" crap? (instead of "shit")
  • Jack: ...making crap up. (instead of "shit")
  • Jack: Put all your damn guns down, idiot! (instead of "Put your god damn guns down, asshole!")
  • Jack: Killing bad guys! (instead of "Fucking killing bad guys")
  • Jack: Drat! (instead of "shit")
  • Jack's line, "Fuck," is edited out.
  • Jack: ...making crap up as we go. (instead of "shit")
  • John: Let's go kill some bad guys. (instead of "motherfuckers")
  • Alik: The file better be here. (instead of "the fucking file")
  • John: I'm on vacation! (instead of "I'm on fucking vacation!")
  • John: The things we do for our kids! (instead of "shit")
  • John: Yippee-ki-yay. (instead of "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker")